Bringing darkness into light reveals the silliness of fear once felt. I’ll give you a simple example: about a year ago, I was living in a little carriage house in the woods. It was my first experience of living on my own and somedays I felt that reality more than others. The carriage house had great windows and skylights to let in a beautiful amount of light, but on this particular day, it was cloudy and overcast. I remember waking up with a feeling of dread as I peered out the windows to see nature covered in a blanket of fog and grey. Nothing had it’s color or vibrance.
I harnessed my dog and we set outside for our morning walk. Just as I turned the corner of the carriage house, I was stunned to see a pair of vultures on a low branch right in front of me. It’s kind-of funny looking back on it now because they looked and felt just like the vultures from the original Disney’s Snow White. They were hunch-backed, dark, and staring right at me. They sent a chill down my spine that I will never forget.
Fast-forward to just a couple months ago, I was again walking my dog, but this time in the park by my new house. We were walking along, running on and off, and enjoying a bright, sunny day. I saw to my right a group of vultures hanging out on the bleachers of a small soccer field. Here they were, in broad daylight, the creatures that once scared me so much. I got SO curious and walked right up to them.
They started backing away from me and tried opening their wings to appear bigger… but I wasn’t frightened at all. I analyzed them with no judgement. I just looked at their feathers, the wrinkles on their faces, the light in their eyes. I noticed that they looked very similar to other birds, and that their coats weren’t actually this ominous black that I had imagined, but a dark brown with hints of auburn. The light shining down upon them from the midday sun revealed that they were just like me: alive in the world.
I learned that day to bring whatever fear into light and observe it without judgement. Yoga has already drilled this concept into my brain from years of repetition, but concepts bring little to no understanding. It’s the direct experiences that we remember.
This morning I woke up with anxiety in my belly. Anxiety is a tricky thing. If you experience it, then you know. I felt my anxiety and immediately wanted to crumble into it with thought patterns of confusion and self-loathing. And then I remembered, bring the fear into light.
I examined my anxiety and came to the conclusion that I know what to do to remedy this. I reminded myself about a warm cup of tea, a breathing exercise, a long walk outside with my dog, or a yoga flow. That anxiety turned into gratitude that my maker, my source, my god… gave me the gift of anxiety as my suffering. We all suffer in some way or another and my suffering can be held and nurtured, but I know that others experience suffering that is not so easy to nurture or love.
All my loved ones are healthy, happy, and secure. There is no greater gift in this world than knowing the ones I love are okay. I pray for the ones that are not as fortunate. My body is healthy, happy, and secure. There is no greater gift in this world than your own health. I pray for the ones that are not as fortunate.
What is your biggest fear? and can you bring that fear into light? Nothing is bigger or more powerful than you. Use your power for love. Namaste.